
Yeah, yeah, it's me. Don't act so surprised. I, myself, almost slid off the chair when the doctor broke the news. I swear my mouth hung open for a fraction of a minute. Excuse me, please.
No, I don't go walking brushing my legs against any plant. What, no, no, I don't go hugging trees. No, the last time I went hiking was 8 years ago, and all I encountered were bloodsuckers (no less horrid, of course.) And, no, DOCTOR, I don't live in the woods.
So what in the world? I thought it was those creepy bugs.
No, Cherie (and here he touched my legs for emphasis), see here (peering through his glasses), this is characteristic of poison ivy (and he droned on as to WHAT it would have looked like if it was NOT). Do you have any on your wrist?
No, but (I showed him my right forearm), I did start itching here (the telltale dots were there), and I used some Hydrocortisone.
(I had earlier told the nurse when she did my vitals that I had been pumping my ever-reliable tried-and-true Hydrocortisone tube for the past two days to no avail, and so as a last act of desperation, I was there for a prescription for Prednisone.)
The doctor now says, I will put you on Prednisone for 10 days.
Please, doctor, because I am ready to hang myself - the itch is driving me crazy.
I've been home since, thank God, sheltered inside these walls, vowing to do splits and fly if I have to to avoid anything green, and screaming bloody Mary to the kids to keep their shoes outside.
Hallelujah.
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the source of the picture is poison ivy. Wikimedia Commons (Public Domain)