I swear

Earlier today, Aris was running a fever, and had all the classic symptoms of a cold. That was all it had to take to set the stage.

I had done everything else from the medicines, the massage, the fixing and changing of the sheets. Even the tissues, small trash can just for him, the alcohol for his hands. And the remote. Everything except for one. He wanted to cuddle. I relented after he'd begged about three times. Locked in that firehot hold, I braced myself for the expected monologue. "You don't want to come here because you think I have swine flu? Well, at least if I die, this is the last thing you'll remember." I told him to can it. Did he? Oh no. "And then, when I die, you're free to marry again. You know." (Will you stop?) "Is it time for my medicine yet? I've probably overdosed myself, maybe I will really die soon." (Arrrghh! Eeeee! All this drama, I don't want to hear another word of it any more.)

Of course he was teasing me, but he was so corny and I finally managed to bite his arm and run for my life.

This house is full of it. Even the three year-old has the bug. When denied something he really likes at the moment, he goes "Mom, look at me. I'm sad." Eh?

And how so the first born? Last night, he showed me the letters he made for Santa. (Don't ask.) He wrote 4 letters, asking for 4 different items for each of us. I said, "Well, remove the apostrophe in like's." That was it. He threw into a fit because he said he used an inkpen, and erasing was hard. I said to rewrite, there was plenty of paper. Did he? No. He went to the room and wrote this:

and gave it to me. I said, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings Matthew but I just want you to write well. What would Santa say?" It didn't work. He came back out with this:

Man above! What's with the testosterone level in this house? So I said, "Come here, let's talk." He came out and I gave him a lecture on how a seven-year-old who is in the advanced classes should be careful with his letters. I said, a smart boy listens to his mom and does not get frustrated so quickly. Blah-blah-blah. I guess that did it. Eventually, he got 3 letters done. Except for one. He said, "Mom, what does Dad want for Christmas?" The Dad, of course, heard, and was on cue, "If I live to see Christmas, son."

Really. Only in this family. In the end, he got his letters sealed. I don't know what he asked the bearded man to give his dad. I hope the boy had sense enough to ask him for FORTITUDE for his mother to bear with more of this onslaught in the coming years.

Wordless Wednesday - If Women Controlled the World

These images were emailed to me by another friend. Aren't they funny?

Macro Monday Entry

We were at Farmer's Market a week ago, and had fun snapping pictures! The owners of these pumpkins had them in all sizes! Happy Fall!

Litratong Pilipino: Karatula Blues

(rough translation: pay before undressing - a sign by the poolside)
(eh???)
(uling, please, ULING - meaning charcoal)
(er, you get it, right?)


These were emailed to me by a friend a while back, which I thought to save for future 'use.' Well, here they are! (With all due respect.)

But, puh-leeesee forgive me for laughing myself off of my chair. Hahahahahaha!!!!


This is a first post for me for Litratong Pilipino (Philippine Photo/s), another meme. It is late, but I hope you still enjoy this post! Karatula, which was the theme I chose to join, means signboard.

LOL

My friends, I have a thousand and one things on my plate right now, so I can't blog long. Instead, I'll leave you with another one of our family anecdotes:

We all brought Matthew to school today. And it just hit me! One surefire way to keep Aristotle awake in the car is:

NOT coffee
NOT Red Bull
NOT rolling the window down an inch when the aircon is on
NOR music, NOR plenty of talk:


JUST let Cherie drive. Wee-heeeee!!!

^-^

Hope everybody has a fabulous day ahead, and gets to finish his/her tasks!

Pepper Surprise

I didn't know until I saw this garden that we could use pepper to adorn our flower beds. Did you?

Long Life

All right. I was heating my food up one night, and one of the staff saw me. And stopped. Because I was using a microwavable bowl. I said I was trying to be more healthy. I said, it was bad enough that I was 'nuking' my food without using plastic. So....

She was fascinated.

Well, another co-worker who overheard us joined in and said, I have something that you might like, Cherie. And I did like it, so here I am sharing it with you.

This is taken from wikiHow, the how-to manual that anyone can write or edit:

How to Live a Long Life

1. Eat healthy.
2. Introduce regular exercise into your life.
3. Develop a sleep schedule.
4. Drink plenty of water.
5. Think first. (all about safety, protective gear, looking before you leap)
6. Reduce causes of stress and depression in your life.
7. Give up smoking.
8. Be safe. (all about avoiding potentially dangerous activities like skydiving, bullfighting, or marriage heheheh)
9. Stock up on antioxidants. (fruits and veggies)
10. Avoid overindulgence.
11. Have yearly physicals.
12. Wear sunblock.
13. Try not to be afraid. (don't be afraid, be aware.)
14. Drink lots of tea.
15. Eat dark chocolate.
16. Drink one glass of red wine a day. (or consider eating red grapes instead)

******

I have a patient who told me his wife is still living and they've been married 59 years. I said, wow, that's a long, solid time! He said with a chuckle, Well, I've learned how to take orders. LOL!

Well, maybe we should, too! Here's to a long, healthy life, my dear friends! Cheers!

Wordless Wednesday

We were enjoying the ocean view from the balcony of our hotel room, when upon looking up, we saw these. While we sat on chairs, these kids sat right on the floor and dangled their legs. Fun is just spelled in so many different ways.

A Job Description for Parents

Some of you may probably have already read this before. This is hilarious! I got this from my son's Sunday school teacher, who said she received this one day in her email. Longish, but loads of fun! Enjoy reading, everyone!

POSITION:

Mommy

Daddy

Or preferred title

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not from someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job-training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunites for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Try this, Mommies...

I noticed that AJ had a little cough this morning, and thought I'd try a remedy I'd read about a while back: I applied VICKS all over his feet and put socks on 'em. Before noon, and throughtout the day, the cough was gone.

Celebrity Smarts

Source of data: LISTVERSE

15 Surprisingly Super Smart CelebritiesShare This- Published January 18, 2009

When you think of Mensa, the high IQ society, you probably think of Steven Hawking or Marilyn vos Savant. There are, however, some unlikely celebrity names associated with Mensa – a group which requires that members have an IQ within the top two per cent of the population. I have compiled a list of some famous smarties, some more surprising than others. I did my best to verify in more than one source that these were in fact members of Mensa. Sharon Stone, for example, is listed as a Mensa member on many websites, however, she confirmed she is not and has never been a member, as is commonly believed. This list is in no particular order, as not all IQ’s were available.

15
Scott Levy

Probably better known as WCW wrestler Raven, Levy studied criminal justice at the University of Delaware and originally wanted to be a lawyer. He has a reported IQ of 143.


14
Asia Carrera

Star of over 250 hardcore adult movies, Carrera has an IQ of 156. Before her successful porn career, at the age of 13 she played piano at Carnegie Hall and later attended Rutgers University.

13
Myles Jeffrey

Jeffrey is a young actor who does a lot of voiceover work. At age 6, he was given an IQ test and tested within the 99th percentile, making him a certified genius.

12
Glenne Headly

Actress, and wife of John Malkovich, Headly studied drama in NYC and attended the American College of Switzerland on a scholarship.

11
Quentin Tarantino

Violence-loving high school dropout Quentin Tarantino has an IQ of 160.

10
Steve Martin

Martin majored in Philosophy at Cal State and even considered becoming a professor at one time. His IQ is estimated to be about 142.

9
Geena Davis

Davis went to Sweden on a student exchange program and is now fluent in Swedish. Studied drama at Boston University, plays piano, flute, drums and organ and has an IQ of 140.

8
Laura Shields

An English model and actress, she earned an honors degree in chemical engineering from Leeds University. Her reported IQ is 158.

7
Alan Rachins

Rachins played a lawyer on the TV show L.A. Law and Dharma’s hippy father on Dharma and Greg. He enrolled at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, ultimately dropping out, but graduated from Empire State College in 1974.

6
Joey Beauchamp

Beauchamp is a footballer for the Oxford United, and is listed on British Mensa’s fact sheet under “famous members,” however they did not list his IQ.

5
Natalie Portman

Fluent in five languages with a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Harvard, Portman pursued graduate studies at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

4
Jimmy Savile

A British DJ, actor and television personality, he is best known for his BBC television show Jim’ll Fix It where he made the wishes of members of the public (mainly children) come true and as both the first and last presenter of Top of the Pops. Savile holds an honorary Doctor of Laws (LLD) from Leeds University and is an honorary fellow of the Royal College of Radiology (FRCR.) In the Mensa entry tests, his IQ was assessed as 149.

3
Jodie Foster

Foster graduated as valedictorian from the French-speaking Lycee Francais de Los Angeles, after which she attended Yale and graduated magna cum laude with a degree in literature. Her reported IQ is 132.

2
Dolph Lundgren

Lundgren attended the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, Sweden. He received a master’s degree in chemical engineering from the University of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, in 1982, and the next year was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to MIT. IQ score: 160.

1
James Woods

Woods aced his SATs, got into MIT (but dropped out to pursue acting) and has a reported IQ of 180.

Bonus
Lisa Simpson

Lisa has an IQ of 156 and has been a member of Mensa Springfield since 1999.

///

Dear friends, every word of this is from LISTVERSE.

This 'ber Season

Whenever I mention to non-Filipino friends that Filipinos herald the coming of Christmas by the 1st of September, I am always met by a huge amount of curiosity, wide eyes and a barrage of questions. Well, my dear friends, it is true! Haha! We have the longest celebration of Christmas that I know of all over the world!

By the 1st of September, Christmas songs will start peppering the airwaves, people start saving up for gifts, or buying them. The weather is noticeably cooler, and gets cooler still, until February. Even strangers are more convivial to each other. We love the 'ber season!

Except for the All Saints' and All Souls' Days on Nov. 1 and 2, there's nothing else between September and Christmas. No Christmas songs on those days, but there's a resounding comeback by the next! Christmas trees are up right after Nov. 2, some before.

Many also enjoy the traditional manito-manita (secret Santa) at home, in offices, schools, wherever there's a willing crowd. How you do it is you all write a fictitious name on a piece of paper, roll it up and put them all together in a container. Each gets to pick a piece of paper and that's the person you give a gift to depending on the rules. Rules may be weekly or daily (or whenever) gift-giving (not necessarily expensive), each week (or day, or whenever) corresponds to a certain gift that is simply described, and up for the giver (secret santa) to interpret. Say, this week, something long and slimy. It runs up till Christmas Day where each one reveals his true identity. Fun? You can say that again!

We also have our traditional Misa De Aguinaldo (misa - mass, aguinaldo - gift), which is a series of masses celebrated at dawn (around 4 at the earliest). It starts on Dec. 16th, and ends on the 24th, at midnight, a nine-day gift of the faithful to the Lord Jesus and Mother Mary. It is a very sacred devotion (novena), and I used to pine when there were times that I wasn't able to complete it. Then there's the noche buena (midnight meal) after the midnight masses On Dec. 24th (Christmas eve) and Dec. 31st (New Year's eve). And then there are the fireworks.


There are lanterns everywhere, of different sizes and colors. There are lantern parades. There's puto-bumbong (traditional rice cake, very famous at Christmastime), and lots of other traditional goodies awaiting church-goers after each dawn mass. There is just so much happiness unfelt at any other time.

And the holiday doesn't end on Jan. 1st. There's the celebration of the Three Kings on the 6th of January. Many Christmas trees stay up till February. Some decors stay all year long!

Sigh. It will be September in a week. I'm pining - again. I'm sorely missing all that.


*******************

The Philippines is more than 80% Catholic, and strong traditions are what bind people together.

Saturday Sibling Frolic

My kids love to play, waddle, walk, run, dive, name whatever it is, into anything, well, let's just say, unconventional. For example, instead of walking calmly on the sidewalk, they would rather tramp on the grass. Instead of leaving a good pile of autumn leaves alone, they would plunge onto it complete with Indian whoops, things like that.

Well, today, it rained.

Aris DOES NOT like them doing this on account of WORMS. And he said dog-owners sometimes let their dogs pee over them. But these puddles were NEW and FRESH. Not THE ONE (we all know it) where the worms were.

So when the little boy jumped in (see how happy he was, he even removed his slippers!) the kuya (big brother) joined in. Was I gonna say no? Not this momma. So they went from puddle to puddle and splashed with gusto. Daddy STILL said something. And of course, since mom is Ms. Sanitation, it was straight from the puddles
to the bubbles!

You bet I scrubbed them good, especially the little toes!

Friday Funnies

Hello, everyone! How about some laughs? Please sit back, this is quite a list. I got this from The News and Observer, and it's called Complaints About Co-workers. It says, what's your biggest beef about co-workers?

Employee:

- is too sun-tanned.
- has big hair.
- eats all the good cookies.
- is so polite, it's infuriating.
- suspected co-worker is a pimp.
- is trying to poison me.
- 's body is magnetic and keeps deactivating my magnetic access card.
- is personally responsible for a federally mandated tax increase.
- was annoyed the company didn't provide a place for naps during break time.
- wears only slippers or socks at work.
- 's aura is wrong.
- smells like road ramps.
- breathes too loudly.
- wants to check a co-worker for ticks.
- thinks 8:00 am is too early to get up for work.
- wore pajamas to work.
- has bells on her shoes, and it's not the holidays.
- reminded co-worker too much of Bambi.
- spends too much time caring for stray cats around the building.
- (male) keeps using the ladies room because the men's room is not as tidy.

Harhar!

And would you believe, these are all true!

Cents and Sensibility

It was the Pinata at a kid's party they attended. And that kid Alex who had cancer and sold lemonade.

Anyway.

My son, Matthew, seven, sold candies yesterday.

To neighbors.

He hitched up his skateboard, and made 'containers' out of paper and glue, and positioned himself outside the door.

He made his own signs, made up his own prices. I was MORTIFIED by the prices.

So imagine my surprise when, at the end of half an hour, he entered the house and showed me his earnings.

It may have been pity. Or just neighborly love.

But, am I convinced that this boy will never be hungry!

Wordless Wednesday

Just when we think it's empty,

it's not.

Macro Monday Entry

Somebody drew a huge smiley on our other car last February. We saw it coming home from a party and immediately took a shot.

(Picture previously posted on Friendster)