I swear

Earlier today, Aris was running a fever, and had all the classic symptoms of a cold. That was all it had to take to set the stage.

I had done everything else from the medicines, the massage, the fixing and changing of the sheets. Even the tissues, small trash can just for him, the alcohol for his hands. And the remote. Everything except for one. He wanted to cuddle. I relented after he'd begged about three times. Locked in that firehot hold, I braced myself for the expected monologue. "You don't want to come here because you think I have swine flu? Well, at least if I die, this is the last thing you'll remember." I told him to can it. Did he? Oh no. "And then, when I die, you're free to marry again. You know." (Will you stop?) "Is it time for my medicine yet? I've probably overdosed myself, maybe I will really die soon." (Arrrghh! Eeeee! All this drama, I don't want to hear another word of it any more.)

Of course he was teasing me, but he was so corny and I finally managed to bite his arm and run for my life.

This house is full of it. Even the three year-old has the bug. When denied something he really likes at the moment, he goes "Mom, look at me. I'm sad." Eh?

And how so the first born? Last night, he showed me the letters he made for Santa. (Don't ask.) He wrote 4 letters, asking for 4 different items for each of us. I said, "Well, remove the apostrophe in like's." That was it. He threw into a fit because he said he used an inkpen, and erasing was hard. I said to rewrite, there was plenty of paper. Did he? No. He went to the room and wrote this:

and gave it to me. I said, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings Matthew but I just want you to write well. What would Santa say?" It didn't work. He came back out with this:

Man above! What's with the testosterone level in this house? So I said, "Come here, let's talk." He came out and I gave him a lecture on how a seven-year-old who is in the advanced classes should be careful with his letters. I said, a smart boy listens to his mom and does not get frustrated so quickly. Blah-blah-blah. I guess that did it. Eventually, he got 3 letters done. Except for one. He said, "Mom, what does Dad want for Christmas?" The Dad, of course, heard, and was on cue, "If I live to see Christmas, son."

Really. Only in this family. In the end, he got his letters sealed. I don't know what he asked the bearded man to give his dad. I hope the boy had sense enough to ask him for FORTITUDE for his mother to bear with more of this onslaught in the coming years.